enemyairship

Dear Dad,

I lied when I said I was fine. Sorry about that. I'll see you during Christmas.

Love, Adam

"Fetch!" I yell, sipping an iced coffee and smoking my last cigarette.

In less than a minute a brown and black striped boxer jaunts back to me
and sets a stick down at my feet.

"Good boy."

I smile, grab the slobber-covered projectile and heave it again, this
time as far as I can. I have just enough time to wipe the saliva on my
jeans before I get my hands gross again.

As I send the dog on another important errand, I'm approached by a
beautiful blond girl in a bright yellow dress. She's got a figure like a
tall skinny Greek goddess from Poland.

"Hi," She says, "I'm Emily, cute dog."

"Thanks," I answer, sipping my coffee and flicking my cigarette.

"What's his name?"

"I'm thinking about 'Torpedo Face', Whatta ya think?"

She laughs and puts her hand on my arm. I smile and introduce myself.

"I'm Milo," I lie. Why stop now?

"You know Torpedo Face was my grandfather's name."

"That's Italian, right?"

"Totally."

We stand quietly as the dog repeats its task of retrieving and
relinquishing the stick. I was never really good at meaningless banter. As
we were just about to continue our awkward silence, a man wearing a dark
suit and a long coat approaches and stares at us.

I nod and smile and pretend I'm not completely freaked out.

"Hi," he blurts, breaking the silence and frankly startling us a bit,
"This might be a really weird question, but how much for the dog?"

"What?" I reply, startled but totally intrigued by this mysterious dog
buying man.

"Here's the deal, I need a present for my wife and I'm on my way home, but
I have no time to shop and get home in time for the dinner reservations
I've made. I promised her something life-changing, but then completely
spaced it. She'll kill me if I come home with nothing and I know she'd
love a pet. I'm sure you can appreciate my situation. Money's not a
problem, my wife is. Help me out."

I stare dumbfounded at the audacity of this wack job, but can't help
rolling numbers around in my head.

"The dog's not for sale, asshole, not to you anyway," Emily protests,
"Guys like you make me sick, thinking you can just buy love in the form of
another life and get away with it. Milo here loves his dog and it's
obvious that no money can buy this friendship. Take your fancy suit and
get lost, douchebag."

"I'll give you 5,000 dollars," says the douchebag.

"You just don't get it, do you?" questions Emily.

"7,000 and that pack of cigarettes," I practically yell, sounding somewhat
English, "Oh and it's not Milo, make it out to James Stillson"

"Done," says the suit, writing a check, grabbing 'Torpedo Face' and taking
off into the sunset.

"That was fucking disgusting," spits Emily as she gets back on her bike
and pedals off in the opposite direction from my new benefactor.

"Hm," I shrug and light a fresh cigarette from my newly acquired pack.

I sip the end of my coffee and toss it into the trash. I can't help
smiling but feel just a little bit guilty. I guess seven months rent in a
minute is not a bad days work. I take a second to remember where the
nearest bank is and start off in that direction. If I get there in time, I
can cash the check before the bank closes and be home by the time
Seinfeld's on. Sweet.

As I'm waiting to cross the street that leads out of the park, I can't
help but wonder whose dog that was.

We've come so far it seems. Everyone's officially grown up and old and weird and changing and different and (more)cynical and tired and lost and fat and sad and moving and married and trying their best and searching and drinking and drinking and drinking and broke and set and fine and did I mention weird?
It's been a long time, but I'm not sure it should ever happen again.

So I'm home.

Little known fact: Ponch from CHiPs was rumored to be the Grand High Puba in the QueQueQue, a notoriously dangerous Mexican hate group.

So many things to write about, so little chance of actually doing it.

Just finished A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggars. I loved it. And I think you would too. There's an awesome sense of floundering that accompanies the book that I find strangely familiar, enough to recommend to my friends and other mid twenties folks who enjoy being neurotic as much as I do.

Moving on...

I'm going on tour with The Honorary Title for about ten days. I just started practicing today, but I still have a lot more to go before I feel super comfortable. I hope Mike comes too. It'll make the whole thing more bearable, comfortable.

This is what you wanted. This is what you wanted. This is what you wanted.

I have lots of songs to finish. I wish I was more motivated. ding dong.

more soon. ha!

ps what's the deal with my camera posts? some of them work, why not all? Kris! you have nothing better to do! Fix my journal I never post in.

Another end to another tour. Funny how time, money, and brain cells fly. Winter makes me crazy. Er.

Photoblogging script by hutta

up and down these days. What Did i used to do with my time?

Photoblogging script by hutta

Photoblogging script by hutta

...but it has nothing to do with love.

Photoblogging script by hutta

Test

Photoblogging script by hutta

So this is the first implementation (<-is that even a word?) of the remote live journal program... we'll see if it makes a difference in the number and frequency of posts. I sincerely doubt it.

I wrote a three page letter today to the parents of my best friend from Alaska. I'm not big on writing letters, but it was kind of fun, and considering the fact that it's how we used to communicate when I moved away made it more nostalgically (<-jesus, is that a word too?) satisfying. I hope I get to send it out soon, I really want them to know I haven't forgotten them. We receive a family update letter from them every year and I always like keeping up with what new crazy things they've pulled off... i.e. the 10,000 + mile bike ride this old friend of mine did recently... how much we've grown in such different directions. I'd love to catch up with him now, but I'm never sure how those things will go. Maybe it's a better as an ideal meeting in my head than the reality. who knows...

This tour has been good so far, but there hasn't been a lot of time for comfortable leisure. I know that probably doesn't make sense, but it might if you were here. Hopefully we'll have a day off near a park or something of interest.

I've been teaching myself music theory a little bit... nothing too hard really, just refreshing before I try and get too involved. I can't wait to get my practice pad in Orlando so I can work on my rudiments. I could be doing it without it, but I think I want to make the best out of my pad and give myself something to do when I'm at the venue...

Having the bus is going to be _______ insert positive adjective here.

I use so many positive adjectives in my daily life it's ridiculous. I've been trying to drop a lot of "vocabulary" words into conversation... I think I'm so much better with the spoken word than I am with the written, and it's been pretty successful, but I need to drastically improve my writing. If I just wrote like I talked, I guess that would be better. My big problem is all my sentences would probably be the same because I tend to get caught up in my own invented cliches that I've picked up over the years.

Do you think a person can be too into self improvement?

My hypothesis is correct for the first entry; longer and more cohesive.
We'll try again soon and see how we do. I hate busting out the laptop in the van because I think it's going to break. If you've ever ridden in this van with us, you'll know that this paranoia is warranted and not in the least bit overcautious. Okay, maybe a bit.

Alright.

Whew...

...now what do I do?

Sometimes, When I type in this journal at the end of the day I feel like Doogie Howser at the end of a long day of being a High School Aged Genius Doctor Child Prodigy and I just want to shed a sensitive light on my coming of age in an adult world. Or I'm just typing when I shouldn't be. Hm. I know what I mean, even if you don't.

I read a book today. This book made me smile all super huge. I recommend everyone read The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I had originally planned an extended update on what's going on, but I find myself not at all compelled to recall one of the million things that's happened to me.
This is something that's always bothered me. I suck at recording memories and details of my life. When I have a camera, I never take pictures. When I have a journal, it's pulling teeth to update. I wonder why though. I mean I always really really enjoy looking through old photos and journal entries. Eh... I'm too tired to care anymore.

I have to remember to make stencils in the van tomorrow.

Got up.Showered.Smoked.Voted.Smoked.Cleaned.
Smoked.Created.Left.Shopped.Returned.Smoked.Ate.
Created.Left.Movie.Coffee.Returned.Smoked.Updated.
Slept.


Goodnight.

I did something very bad. I mean not like killed a hooker and buried her body 6 feet under the desert surface 17 miles northwest off what would be the exit 125.5. I got a myspace account to see what it was all about. See it doesn't seem so bad after the hooker fiasco. I dunno, I'm not really feeling the myspace... only time wasted on the internet will tell.

Leaps and bounds improving on the piano... songs I can stumble through: Linus and Lucy (peanuts theme) by Vince Guaraldi, Evaporated by Ben Folds Five, Some song by Noiseratchet, Newfound Interest in Mass. by the Get Up Kids, Clocks by Coldplay, and some shady stuff I wrote. My independence in my hands is still a bit tricky. I'm really stoked. I think I'm gonna tackle some classics as well as some Elliott Smith soon. I was supposed to play with Dave, but he never called... I cried myself to sleep. Honest. But I do want to play soon.

I sent my computer away and they sent it back a day later, so solid it feels new. I'm super stoked. I have to come up with the money to get the apple care program. I love Apple so much.

So I'm turning into a super jazz nerd. This is where when someone asks you a simple question and the answer you come up with is, "Jazz?" just thought I'd tell you where I'm at. I'll spare you the rest as it's not "cool" to blather on about this kind of stuff. Miles just wouldn't approve.

I plan on going to the library today. This is the raddest place in the whole wide world to me. It has a billion books on anything you'd ever want to know. It's cool, it's quiet and best of all, it's free. This is essential.

For now though I'm cooped up in my dark room, on the computer, dreading going out.

Perhaps "dread" isn't the right word.

Too lazy to go out...

That's more like it.

If anyone wants to start a sick jazz trio, lemme know.

See? Couldn't let it go.

So I got a promark sponsorship... that's sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

I'm "better" now....
I went to the doctor and as soon as my name was called, I was wisked away to land of checking weight ear and mouth probing and all while walking. The nurse treated me like I was the only thing in the way of her going to her all nurse rock and roll retreat that I know they go to where only nurses are allowed and they play nurse yahtzee or something... anyways... the doctor gave me allergy medicine to take the rest of my life right after not listening to a word I said. It was awesome. I'm switching doctors.

Being really sick and stuck in bed was cool for a couple reasons... no sleeping and eating give an interesting heroin chic look, i got to finish a couple books, the fevers helped me write some songs... I really look forward to playing with my boys from the live band. I miss them already.... MandM hhaha woooo... i'm retarded.

I set up my set in the garage and can't keep my mitts off it. When we were on tour I played some improv stuff with other memebers of the tour and we had a such a good time of it and it was so well received that there where talks of trying to pull together an opening slot gig for the next tour which although I don't think will come to fruition I really like the idea. I wanna create music again so bad...

I've playing a lot of piano and have a couple small ideas as well as finally putting a dent in Reason. If I can get it to work with protools, I'm set. Cory, I'm looking in your direction.

Call to catch up.

Nothing but static.

Disappointed, but not surprised.

Maybe next year.

So I'm going to bed on Saturday night and I get something I haven't gotten since I last had a sleep over at HuttaKris's dad's (HuttaLarry) house. I got what i've been only told is called "the chills". This is when for no appearent reason, I just start freezing my ass off and develop some kind of fever... and there's nothing to be done about it. This has happened to me about 4-5 times now and it sucks everytime.

When I woke up yesterday after taking Nyquil and getting up to pee every half hour all night long, I was still feeling pretty shitty. The only time I left my bed was to take a shower and 3 baths cuz it warmed me up. THEN, after staying in bed all day I felt like a piece and tried to sleep some more. So. I'm going on close to at least 24 hrs of sleep and all I want to do is take a nap. This sucks.

This is why I'm writing in here, I don't care if you find my story interesting or not, I'm just staying the fuck out of bed. I'm gonna make myself walk the mall I think. ugh. at least it's not so hot in there.

Man, I'm a mall walker.

also I need to eat.

I'm on no sleep and somehow by sitting at this computer, I've managed to suck myself into insomnia... again...

But it's all good... I had a coldbuster today. No Sweat.

Adam walk upright, feather back hair for style, master English language.

Point is: Adam get smarter.

I love my friends. Old and new I'm doing well.

Man I really need sleep, look how sappy I'm getting.

I don't want to get a job now that I'm home, but I know that I should... and that's not okay with me. blah.

Alright I'm boring the shit out of my self here, but if nothing else I want everyone to know... that I typed this while listening to the theme from Doogie Howser MD.

I'm not fucking around here people. I don't lie when Neil Patrick Harris is involved.

I wish you all good night.... don't call me early tomorrow or I'll punch your face... unless you're Kris and then "let's do lunch" hutta hutta hutaaaa.

I wish Vinnie would stop crawling through my window... I fucking hate that wiseass.

Back in good ol' St. George, Utah and we are nearing the end of the tour with Steel Train. This tour has been the best tour I've ever been on. So good in fact we're going to repeat it in fall.

I've been taking steps to maintain my mental and physical health and it's working. I'm happy again and that's okay with me.

I think I'm ready now. I think I get it.

I can't wait to be mad again in my next post.

Hmm.

I have changed:I DO seem different:I AM distant.

It's been a while since I last... no. Anyway...

Blah blah tour seems like tour seems like tour seems like tour seems like blah blah

So what is it then?

Um.